This is the wall of life.

It's February 12, 2009 at 9:14pm.

I feel like I have been walked on, brought up, thrown down, given a helping hand, then walked away with my head slung to my shoulders.

This morning, a women came into my job and confided into me about her husband, and his abusive nature. She's called the cops on him various times, she felt for a long time as if she could not leave. He hits her, he beats her, she hides from him. He lies to her, he takes her money. She has no one else to talk to, and she thanks me over and over for letting her vent to me. She says she never thought it would be like this when they first met. She told me she thinks he will kill her. Its all so real, I know her husband, he comes in often with his oh so pleasant mask, decieving us all.

This afternoon, a man comes in- I have talked to him on occasion when he has come in, he is in his late thirties. He asks me if I have any "hot dates" this weekend. I tell him Valentines day will be spent male bashing with close friends. He states, "Well I would take you out but..." (Background: Married man whose wife definitely just had a kid) I say, "Uh, yeah thanks anyway, I will manage" Then he leans in and tells me never to get married because it ruins everything and the magic disappears.

Earlier this week, my co worker finally decides to divorce her cheating husband. She finally just decided to stop taking his shit for so many years. I can tell she is so hurt by the situation, she cries retelling me the story.

I don't want to be on a soapbox or sound like Oprah. Its just that, we live in our secluded bubbles in life and we don't really realize the everyday things that are happening around us. These women are our mothers, our sisters, and our daughters. All these women are ones that I respect and believe should deserve more love than the world can give, but instead they are just beat down. Although these are considered my elders, I can't help but see the future in their eyes. I am scared. I am no real "throw your bras and burn your panties" feminist kind of girl, but when will things change? Will they ever change?

I can't help but deny that I am so much of what those women encompassed, but its up to me to not let that happen- correct?

I am a female, that is a minority, the Man knows I am at the bottom of society from a social and business standpoint, but mark my words, I will never let myself be brought down or held back.