Tuesday, July 28, 2009

We grow.

I feel like I am at a four-way stop intersection right now. I look to my right and I see everything I have left behind, I look to my left and I see what my age group is doing and my need to assimilate, I look ahead of me and I see all my ambitions, my hopes and dreams. All different people are triggering these thoughts. When I truely look at my last few years of life I notice that it is really time for a change.
On the one hand there is my past- consisting of the dreaded ex who brings out the insecurities in me, the anger, and the frustration. Ultimately, the ingredients leave a bad taste in my mouth.
Then there is everyone in my general age group. Getting drunk, never sleeping, getting high, fucking up their credit, rackin' up DUI's. In hindsight I think, "Hey! I am young! I should be relishing in irresponsibility!" But is that really who I am? I have never been known to be a popular socialite, especially not a drunk one at that.
Then I look ahead of me. Someone who I literally just met, changed my perspective on so much. I'm sure he has no idea the effect he had on me, but he is nothing less of amazing in my mind. A true product of a person exhibiting that with hardwork and ambition you can really do whatever you want.

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