Locked up

I'm finding myself in a bit of a strange place. Between happiness and fear. That trench between, well, drugs essentially (anti-depressants) and actual real feelings. I'm scared to leave my crutch behind but feel so hypocritical using it. Thou shall not end a sentence with a preposition. Ah!

I'm jealous people move on with out me. Mainly meaning ex boyfriends. I may not even have any feelings for them anymore, but knowing they moved on hurts me. I suppose I am just greedy and wish I was still on there mind. I like to hold prisoners of my love, how selfish of me.

I hung out with my new friend Devon (who basically looks exactly like me) and wow, what an enlightening person. He encompasses everything I wish I could attain, not in a material or superficial sense, but more so his ability to let things roll off of him and how he handles and takes life. Never be too cocky to learn, this boy maybe a few years younger than me but just ages ahead of me mentally.